Starting kindergarden or pre-school - tips

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Guest post by Anna McQuinn, author of the Lola Reads series.

Lola Goes to School    Use Lola Goes to School to prepare for starting pre-school, kindergarden or 'big school'

"Parents, carers, and Early Years practitioners will find this book very useful.
It’s the perfect text to help young children prepare for and settle into their early years settings..."
– Candid Cocoa Blog

"Ever so gently acknowledges that sense of anxiety that comes from being in an unknown situation whilst celebrating the exciting
opportunities that come with attending school..."
– Mat Tobin, Senior Lecturer in Children's Literature at Oxford Brookes

"There are so many books about anxious first days of school — this one is refreshingly different."
– Afoma Umesi


In the weeks before. . .

Encourage play - it's a way to absorb new ideas, to process and to assimilate...

Reading stories about starting school is a great first step towards talking about it in a natural way.

I like natural stories that doesn't raise too many problems - I especially don't want to raise worries a child has not thought of themselves. If your child has a particular worry, do seek out a story that addresses that.

While reading, leave space for your child to raise any questions or worries. You can talk through these concerns and reassure your child / give them tips or strategies on what to do.

Making connections with similar situations your child is already familiar with helps the child move from what they know/are confident about, to new experiences

Lola loves going to her library group, so here, the text compares that experience with going to school.


In the days before... preparation is everything

Visit the school if that's possible. If not - you can still walk by and point it out.

Involve your child in the preparation Take them shopping and let them choose some of their school supplies.
Even if this is just one thing, it will help them feel more confident.

 

Making choices helps children feel they have agency in their lives

Making choices helps children feel that starting school is something they are experiencing
rather than something that is happening TO them

 

 

 

 

 


The Day Before. . .

Give your child choices about what to wear (if that's an option).

It's also a great opportunity to talk about all the fun activities they will take part in and why they need to have appropriate clothing (for running, playing, messy play etc)

If your pre-school has any kind of uniform or recommended clothing, you can still chat about it and still make choices about socks/shoes... did I mention already that giving children choices, giving them agency empower and gives confidence?

Pack supplies like extra underwear to reduce anxiety if there are spills or 'accidents'.

Do this without making a fuss – you can use it as an opportunity to remind your child how to tell the teacher they need the toilet.

Packing extras without making a big deal about it (as part of packing everything else) will also normalise this for your child, so if they do have an accident, they will know that this may happen and not to worry.

Picking clothing and laying it out, and getting school things ready the night before is a great routine to start on day one - it saves rushing around looking for things in the morning. As children get into the routine they will gradually do a lot of this themselves.

Help your child to choose a favourite (transition) toy or a small family photo to take along for any wobbly moments. Your pre-school may have suggestions and policies about this, so ask.

Having agency helps children approach new situations with confidence

 


The morning of the first day. . .

Allow more time than usual so everyone can start the day calmly and without rushing.

As a family support worker, it always surprised me when people expected to get out the door in the same time as usual!

Choosing and laying out clothing choices the night before and having a bag already ready will really pay off.

There will also be time for that all important photo!

 These preparations will help your child to  feel confident and in control on day one.


First Day. . .

Which is not to say there won't be bumps in the road - of course that it to be expected. But all this preparation will really help.

personal belongings and transition toys
Pre-schools and kindergardens usually have policies about transition toys and personal belongings.

If you have checked these out in advance, you can prepare your child so they are OK with putting their things in their allocated spot or cubby.

settling in

In the story, Lola's mommy will say a quick goodbye later - no drama! You can point this out and add your own reassuring phrase.
Then, on the day, remember to say it. Something like, 'see you in a little while' is perfect to remind your child you will be back soon. (No sneaking off without saying anything.)

Don't have unrealistic expectations about how quickly your child will settle, will join in play or 'make friends'.
Different children engage with the new situation in different ways - regardless of how well you've prepared.

Many confident and well-prepared children may want to observe for a while before they decide what to do. Give them space and time to do this at their own pace.

 

Oftentimes, they will join in something familiar. It's no surprise that book-loving Lola joins a little girl who is reading. (I've written a longer piece on friendships here).

 

 

 


Even confident,well-prepared girls can have a wobbly moment, so...

Be prepared for wobbles
Lola's preparations stand her in good stead – she's brought along her favorite toy cat, and when she suddenly feels a bit overwhelmed, she takes a moment for a cuddle until she feels better.

Then Lola can continue with her day and before she knows it, her mommy is back to collect her.

When reading the story, this is a good moment to point this out and go over whatever strategy you've already talked about with your child for coping with these moments. Again, it's important to stress that wobbles are completely to be expected and normal.

 


An exhausting first day. . .

Be patient...

While parents are naturally eager to know how their little one got on, processing such a huge new experience is often exhausting for children, so don't be surprised if your little one is slow to answer questions and even fall asleep as soon as you reach home!

Reluctance to answer is more likely down to the fact that your child hasn't fully processed the whole experience than that anything is wrong or worrying them. Open questions like 'what was your favorite part of the day?' are better than 'did you make any new friends?' or 'did you get on OK with the teacher?'

Give them a little time to rest and to process (perhaps to play at 'schools' again) then you'll likely get a better response.

"This delightful glimpse into Lulu’s first day at school makes for a reassuring companion for young readers,
creating opportunities for conversations about this milestone moment, whilst revelling in the excitement and fun of it all.

- Farrah Serroukh, CLPE

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  • Donna Spurlock
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